A Moment of Awe

During a volunteer shift handing out race bibs for the Holiday Dash 5K in December, Kelli dabbed tears from her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying!” she laughed. She was recalling a moment on a trail earlier in the year that had inspired her to volunteer for Portland Trails, but the emotional potency of the memory caught her by surprise.

Kelli Heffley, 54, and her husband, Jim, have been married for 22 years and raised their two kids, Jack and Maggie, and their family dog, Molly, in their home in the Nason’s Corner neighborhood. But the last few years have been a time of transition for Kelli.

Kelli, pictured here in the Fore River Sanctuary this winter.

First, Molly passed away, a heartbreaking loss for the Heffleys. Not long after, their youngest moved away to college, and she and Jim became “almost-empty-nesters,” she says. No longer busy with her kids’ sports games, school plays, and sleepovers, and without Molly to keep her company, she found herself with a rare thing: free time.

Then came an opportunity to dog-sit a friend’s dog, Shelby, for the summer. She and Jim decided to give it a try; they’d be able to enjoy having a dog around again, but they wouldn’t have to make another long financial and emotional commitment.

Shelby in her happy place: the woods

Shelby was very active, says Kelli. After driving across town a few times for long walks, she realized how easy it would be to take her new companion to the Fore River Sanctuary – they could even walk there from her house.

That’s where Kelli had her transformative moment. “It was early summer, and I was walking Shelby on the Indigo Trail. I came up a small hill and turned a corner. There was a tree whose branches were bending just so, and the sun was hitting everything just right. I felt…” she pauses. “Peace. It was almost spiritual.”

It’s such a quiet, unassuming moment that it might be easy to miss. If her phone had buzzed with a text, if Shelby had barked, or if she was lost in her thoughts, maybe Kelli wouldn’t have noticed it at all. But she did, and she experienced a true moment of awe. We might think of rare wonders like seeing the Grand Canyon or witnessing a solar eclipse as awe-inspiring, but smaller moments in nature can make us feel awe, too. That’s how, for Kelli, a bend in the forest changed her life.

The thing that changed the most is, simply, that she’s happier now. “But it’s not that I was unhappy before. I was happy, but now I’m happy-er,” she says, stressing the shift. “Lighter. Calmer. Not as stressed.” She adds, “Once I had that moment, I started looking for more, and they were easier to find.”

Photo by Kelli’s son, Jack

There are countless studies that prove the benefits of spending time in nature. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it can “increase happiness, subjective well-being, positive affect, positive social interactions, and [create] a sense of meaning and purpose in life.” Kelli is certainly proof of that.

But the effects of experiencing awe can go even further. The APA suggests that “one of the things that may come from awe is the feeling that the individual is part of a much bigger whole.”

That may be why, after feeling awe, Kelli was inspired to volunteer for Portland Trails. “I was able to have that moment because other people made it possible,” she says. “So I wanted to give back to help others have a moment like that, too.”

Moments like Kelli’s and the effects of experiencing awe are accessible to everyone. The Portland Trails trail crew curate moments of awe throughout the trail network, from a bend in the trail highlighting a tree’s curve to a bench with a view of the sunrise. All you have to do is visit a trail and pay attention.

Kelli’s relationship with the trails has continued. “It’ll continue until it can’t,” she says. She regularly explores other trails in the Portland Trails network, and this winter, she’s looking forward to snowshoeing for the first time.

But this summer, Kelli will be dog-sitting Shelby once again. There’s no doubt they’ll be back on the trails together in search of more moments of awe.

Shelby taking in the views at Jewell Falls last summer